Date: 28th June 2017 at 11:15am
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News of Cookie’s sojourn appears to have split opinion on the Latics Speyk forums.

Not long from now, Paul Cook will be boarding a plane bound for scorchin’ Spain. In those warm and pleasant lands, he and his squad will embark upon a pre-season ‘getting to know you’ session or three, which may involve the consumption of a few cool beverages.

News of this sojourn appears to have split opinion on the Latics Speyk forums. Some are quite alarmed, others nonplussed, yet others apathetic. But whichever stance they might assume, the Latisticians’ comments are always engaging…

Normally I’d slag them off but I couldn’t care less. We always have an awful pre season and we always have an awful start to the season.

Nosey Barstool’s verdict: Well, I think we might have beaten West Brom in pre-season once. And oh yeah, didn’t Marc-Antoine Fortune score a goal against Atromitos in 2013? That’s success by his standards, I suppose.

I’ll tell you what will happen…They’ll all being going out clubbing getting completely rat a****, dancing on tables making complete fools out of themselves … It will be complete and utter chaos.

Nosey Barstool’s verdict: Isn’t that the way it should be? Jimmy, don’t forget to pack the Roland TR-808 for a 3am pop-up disco in room 274.

The sunny weather will be used as an excuse to get the begging bowl out pleading to players to take a wage cut and for people to move on.

Nosey Barstool’s verdict: Or maybe they’ll just leave the ones they don’t like in Spain? Everyone will hop on the plane a day early without telling the unlucky ones.

It does seem farcical when only two new additions have been made to the squad. And what happened to bonding sessions in Britain?

Nosey Barstool’s verdict: They would have stayed in Britain, but that chalet at Butlins Chorley was already booked, and the authorities wouldn’t let the players sleep on snooker tables.

It is about time the club did some bonding with the supporters especially if they want people to buy season tickets.

Nosey Barstool’s verdict: Oooh! Players v Fans darts night in the South Stand bar, anyone? I know the guy that plays Bully from Bullseye – I’m sure he’ll do us a favour and be the scorer.