Date: 11th July 2017 at 6:25pm
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Like pies? Like the new figure-hugging Latics replica strip? Then there ain’t room in your life for both, dear reader.

Like pies? Like the new figure-hugging Latics replica strip? Then there ain’t room in your life for both, dear reader.

Them sounds like fightin’ words. Vital Latics members, it’s over to you…

‘What`s up, too fat for ’em? Jealous that you would look ridiculous in one? Get down the gym and stop whining!’ – Get a Grip

Yep, dear reader, this is the perfect excuse to use that expensive gym membership your dog bought you for Christmas. Explain to your boss that you must leave for a workout at 2pm each day in order to fit your new ‘cycling strip’:

‘It looks like summert you would wear whilst competing in the Tour de France.’ – TrueLatic4Eva

‘I think that they [should] stick with ‘the skin tight lycra’ because it has athletic advantage, rather than caring so much how it looks on the slightly larger fans.’ – Kendal Blue

But what about the slightly larger players? The ones that like to keep a pastry in their pocket for sustenance during matches? The ones that count full packets of branded cream biscuits as light snacks? And the ones named Grant?

Setting aside fitness concerns, we all seem to agree on one thing – Latics’ artistic department chose the correct colour combination:

‘They don’t vary much these days, to be honest it barely registers anymore. I do however notice the absence of red so that’s a positive.’ — Whittleblue

Don’t worry, there’ll be plenty of red on the strip when the inevitable penalty box karate chops and scratches are unleashed. Bleeding limbs will be the only evidence for short-sighted League One officials to award misguided penalties. Oh, I can hear you rubbing your hands together already!

That’s not the end of the saucy strip saga, though. Keep your Tweeting fingers primed for the announcement of Latics’ 2nd and 3rd kits, which will probably not be orange. At least, we hope they aren’t or we’ll be delivering a DIY tie die kit to the DW dressing room post haste.